Overlooked Symptoms Of Depression That Destroy Relationships

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The quality of our lives depends on the type of relationship we have with our spouse or significant others. It is our source of happiness and success that help us through the course of our overall development. However, on the negative side, it is also the cause of our pain and despair. And when our relationship is at stake, we tend to have difficulties in finding joy and fulfillment in almost everything. That’s why it’s not a surprise that relationships play a big role when it comes to our mental condition. So how do we know if our relationship is experiencing a rough ride due to depression? Here are the commonly overlooked signs that you need to know.

Depression doesn’t simply go away because you’ve loved more. — Angela Avery, MA, LLPC, NCC

Too Negative To Think About Anything

Depression encloses your thoughts with negativity that elevates your doubts and despair. It creates a massive influence on your mental capacity to stay on a one-sided perception. It blocks your emotional state and makes it difficult for you to appreciate things. You always complain about everything and feel like nothing seems to make you happy.

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Sensitive And Irrational

Due to depression, you question and criticize your capability to handle a relationship. You drop a high level of energy and motivation over time and tend to become sensitive to criticism. You become doubtful about your worth that’s lowering down your self-esteem. As a result, you tend to hate your job, your friends, as well as your partner.

Persistent Sadness And Fatigue

Though it’s pretty normal to feel sad and tired at some point, the persistent feeling it gives contributes to making you lose interest in things that you used to enjoy, and that includes sex. It becomes a problem in the relationship because you tend to devalue the importance of physical intimacy due to your mental state.

 Though giving up and not functioning can be the exact opposite of what’s helpful at times, other times it can be exactly what is needed for my brain to begin to heal. — Cynthia W. Lubow, MS, MFT

Constant Changes Of Interest

It is common to experience mood changes. However, the continued emotional and physical neglect towards your partner is a different story. When you are depressed, you tend to lose interest in things that you and your partner enjoy doing together. You become needy and lack the motivation to engage in your typical relationship activities such as going out on a date, shopping together, or even completing projects at home.

Developing Unexplained Irritable Mood

When you suffer from depression, you quickly get irritated with people or circumstances that previously didn’t affect your life. It concerns your relationship because you over-think up to the extent that you tend to go below the belt in demeaning your partner. It becomes easy for you to find fault that suddenly you experience random outbursts over menial occurrences.

Difficulty In Making Decisions

Depression can affect your critical thinking. You lose the balance in creating a meaningful decision due to the stress and anxiety from your mental illness. You tend to affect your partner at some point because you no longer feel the need to communicate and keep on avoiding addressing relationship issues.

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Depression is a mind/body issue and should be treated with the same self-compassion and treatment-seeking with which we would treat any major illness. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

Relationship problems widely contribute to depression and vice versa. The mental condition prevents us from having the kind of blissful life that we yearn to have with our loved one. Sometimes, it even triggers issues that are somehow too impossible to address, so we need to be cautious about the mental disorder’s signs and symptoms.

How Depression Makes A Relationship Different From Others


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When it comes to a relationship, depression can become a serious issue. Sometimes, couples are not aware of the effects of the mental disorder that is why they most likely end up losing interest in each other. In severe cases, the condition damages almost every important thing that people hold on to, including their vows or commitments.

Even if you or your spouse try to accomplish hiding depression from time to time and other people notice nothing different, there will come a time when you or your partner will eventually break down. And when you happen to figure out that there is something wrong with both or either one of your psychological and emotional states, it’ll be too late to take safety measures.

For people who are depressed, this critical inner voice can have a powerful and destructive influence on their state of mind. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

You As A Depressed Person

If you are the person experiencing depression, how does it affect you and your relationship? Well, essentially it is hard for you because you are in an intense level of emotional crisis. It causes you to feel sad and lonely even in little things. It affects your thoughts and changes the way you usually behave. It also makes you feel uncomfortable about yourself and hinders you to react to different kinds of situations positively. Your depression consumes your energy and leaves you with unwanted psychological and emotional illness. From there, your relationship gets affected because you mainly focus on things that do not indeed matter at all. You tend to create adverse scenarios in your head that add more pressure in all aspects of your relationship such as communication, physical connection, and emotional bond. You tend to shut down people from your life and avoid letting them in.

What resolves depression is grieving losses and traumas, changing brain chemistry, changing life circumstances, and time. — Cynthia W. Lubow, MS, MFT

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You As The Partner Of A Depressed Person

If you are the person who is in a relationship with an individual that suffers from depression, you will most likely end up feeling depressed as well. Though you might consider yourself free from the mental illness, it affects you in a way that you feel your partner’s inconsistency in the relationship. Your partner’s condition makes you think that you’re doing something wrong and that stresses you out. The situation makes you lose the confidence to create a romantic connection because you get to feel unloved and unwanted every time he or she tries to push you away. Also, your partner’s mental condition tends to agitate you, and that causes you to snap out. Sometimes, it drives you to get to a point where you potentially see the end of the commitment.

Keep in mind, also, it is common for a depressed person to not want anyone (especially a loved one) to worry, so they will often put on a good front and minimize their true feelings. — Angela Avery, MA, LLPC, NCC

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No one can expect their spouse or significant others to understand the situation of depression automatically. It is something that people tend to avoid but they could not. It causes too much damage to all aspects of people’s lives and hinders them from achieving overall development. So when couples fail to address the issue, it always ends negatively. It is safe to remember that depression requires an immediate assessment and treatment as well so couples can continue fighting for the commitment that they value.

Depression Causes A Marriage To Fail


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We certainly know that not all marriages are perfect and sometimes we struggle to keep everything in control. In some cases, we even push ourselves to our limits for the sake of saving our relationship. As much as possible, we try to avoid making decisions that can severely affect our situation. But how about handling the effects of depression? Is there a way to deal with it? Can it end your marriage?

It creates a situation that may feel out of control, hopeless, and heavy. — Angela Avery, MA, LLPC, NCC

The Effects

Depression is a mental illness that creates a massive problem in a person’s life and affects other lives as well. It changes everything because it elevates all the negativity in our mind, body, and soul that makes us end up losing interest in living. Sometimes, it gives us unimaginable thoughts that can make us hurt others or even worse, ourselves. We tend to feel devastated, uninspired, sad, and anxious about the things that surround us. It changes us into a totally different person that we know we are not supposed to become. And when it comes to our relationship, we see things in a pessimistic view.

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Depression is a devious disorder, because the symptoms it creates can discourage you from completing the very actions or seeking the help that would begin your recovery. Lack of energy, low self-esteem and dwindling excitement are some of the symptoms that make it hard to get out of a depressed state. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

Affected Relationship

Sometimes, we often don’t notice the condition and think of it as something normal in the emotional aspect. In most cases, we lash it out to our significant others and tend to do things that even ourselves couldn’t understand. Although we know that we have some issues that we are dealing with, it will not stop us from blaming the nearest person around us. Therefore, it creates a huge gap between understanding and confusion. We shut down the only person that we can rely on, and that action makes them think that they are part of our problem in any way whatsoever. We know that it’s not our partner’s fault, but the emotional suffering makes us think that it is. Sometimes, depression makes us irrational and unpredictable throughout the course of our relationship that’s why our spouses or partners decide to move away.

Cause Of Divorce

Due to consistent misunderstanding, the depression leads a marriage to its end. I’m not saying that all results will end up in divorce, but almost all relationships fail to acknowledge the essence of knowing the condition. Perhaps that’s because figuring it out is sometimes already too late. Couples experience a lack of understanding, miscommunication, disagreements, isolation, and mild to severe arguments. These hinder both parties to psychologically, mentally and emotionally grow. In the end when all else fails, and everything gets worse, both choose to go separate ways.

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If you notice withdrawal in your relationship, it may be helpful to offer to take a break, allowing your partner the time and space to calm down in order to effectively communicate. — Meredith Shirey, MS, LMFT

Realizing the effect of depression is vital to our relationship. We may think that the emotional struggle only affects us, but the truth is, we make it even harder for our spouse and significant others. It’s hard for the person around us to deal with someone who is not willing to talk and doesn’t consider helping themselves either. Even though we know that the person loves us and is there to support us, our constant negative behavior towards them can dictate the kind of relationship we will have in the future.

Online Therapy And Its Advantages To Patients

Are you having a psychological problem and in need of therapy, but you have no access or your time is not flexible to have a formal visit to a mental disorder professional? Then Online Therapy is for you. There are lots of reasons to opt for an online treatment, and we are going to list down the advantages it can give to the individuals who may need its services. 

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Continue reading “Online Therapy And Its Advantages To Patients”

Psychiatrists’ Tips On Recognizing Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

As people open up about their battles in life that affect their mental health conditions, the process of determining and assisting in all the types of mental disorders still requires a deep understanding. Among the various kinds of mental illness, a personality disorder is the least that medical practitioners give attention. Most people think that a person who suffers from a personality disorder is crazy or dangerous. However, we will try to identify one of the many types of personality disorder, particularly BPD.

Borderline personality (BP) is estimated to affect between 1.5% and 6% of people in the United States. — Traci Stein, PhD, MPH


Continue reading “Psychiatrists’ Tips On Recognizing Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder”

Why You Shouldn’t Be Sad About Your Children Growing Up

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Kids are the most significant sources of joy and pride in a parent’s life. After a long day in the office, seeing their happy smiles can wash all your worries away. More than anyone, you are also their #1 cheerleader as they try to achieve their dreams.

Thus, when you feel so close to your children, it is possible for you to get depressed once they become old enough to move out of the house. The usual chats you share over breakfast every day may just happen once or twice a month. If they now live away from your city, video messaging applications may be the only way for you to see your kids’ faces often.

Take time to reflect on the season you have had with your children at home. It takes time to process the reality you have been preparing them for since they were born. — Angela Bisignano, PhD

It isn’t anybody’s position to condemn you for missing your babies too much, regardless of how big they are already. But you need not feel sad about letting them exercise their independence because it can bring a lot of benefits to their lives – and yours, of course.

The Activities In The House Are Less Hectic Than Ever

A child growing up means he or she will not need your help too much inside or outside your home. If you had to prepare their clothes and meals when they were still young, they could do all of that now by themselves. And once they leave, it’s mere you and your better half will share the place; that’s why there will inevitably be less amount of clutter and noise.

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Your Stress Level Can Go Down

Being a mom or dad to someone isn’t easy since your parenting skills have to stay polished. Kids at any age require guidance, and they will undoubtedly retreat under your wing in times of need. When they are living with you, the children may bombard you regularly with their issues from the moment they hear your footsteps from the garage. At least, if your locations are different, then they can try to fix the problem themselves and allow you to be stress-free for once.

When you occasionally distract yourself with something mindless or a physical activity, you give your unconscious a chance to sort through possible solutions. — Marcia Reynolds Psy.D.

You And Your Spouse Can Go On Your Dream Adventure Together

Is there a place out of town or across the globe that you wanted to visit but never had the chance due to childcare? That doesn’t have to remain as a far-fetched dream now, thanks to your children growing up.

They are ideally past the adolescent years and are capable of surviving without you for days or weeks. So, plan your new endeavor and feel no guilt about going on a trip as a couple.

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There are traits we’ve taken on that strengthen us and enhance our sense of self. Yet, differentiation isn’t about separating yourself from society or ridding yourself of positive social models. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

The Talks You Share Become More Mature

As the kids gain life experiences, the chats you’ll have together will be more adult-like. Rather than talking about school crushes and friends, they may prefer to speak of work, investments, and family. During those moments, the age gap may not seem as noticeable as when they were children, and you won’t feel weird about sharing your woes with them.

You Can Be Like Newlyweds Again

The pet peeve of married couples with kids is that the latter will catch them in the act of making love. That can be super embarrassing for everyone. With your children away from home often, however, you can rekindle your romance and practically have sex wherever and whenever you please.

How To Quickly Bounce Back From Rejection

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Unfortunately, we’ve spent years trying to build up the self-esteem of an entire generation and have created a world in which the word, “No,” carries more power to wound adults more deeply than ever believed possible. — Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.

Everyone, including high-profile politicians and celebrities, can experience refusal more than once in this lifetime. No one is too close to perfection, right? You can’t push every single person on the planet to believe your capabilities. It is also beyond your power to make people realize how much of an asset you can become for their school or company.

For sure, you can always try to change their minds. But never allow rejections to lower your self-esteem and doubt yourself. If you let that occur, stress and negative thoughts will pile up and most likely result in a mental disorder.

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View a few suggestions on how to quickly bounce back from this experience below.

  1. See It As An Opportunity

The weavers of fate surely have sound logic behind the dismissal you got. Perhaps your destiny is to marry a better man or woman than your ex. Or, maybe you’re meant to be the boss, not the employee. Although we have no means to find out what that is in an instant, you may sense it shortly.

  1. Confront Your Emotions

Rejection can never leave a sweet taste in anyone’s mouth. It can be difficult to swallow, especially once you get denied for something that you’ve been dreaming of for years. Rather than acting unfazed by it every time, however, even if you feel otherwise, just choose to be honest with your emotions. That can help you accept the reality and take the incident off your chest.

When a relationship ends, humiliation, rage, loneliness, anguish and grief all seem to simultaneously show up at the door, marching in arm-in-arm to parade noisily around our psyche. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

  1. Find Ways To Improve Your Skills

Once you receive a refusal and the other person tells you its cause, be grateful for it. Whether it involves matters of the heart or not, many go on in this world without knowing where things went wrong. You’re lucky not to be one of them. Thus, as soon as your anger subsides, try to become objective, change any unpleasant attitude, or gain new competencies so that you’ll obtain approvals on your next endeavor.

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  1. Focus On Feeling Happy

Some who have a hard time dealing with rejection spiral down to addiction or depression, which makes a recovery extra challenging. The reason is that they let the experience dampen their mood. You won’t go through this ordeal once you concentrate on activities that provide happiness to your heart. It’s beneficial to surround yourself with loved ones too at this point.

  1. Don’t Blame Yourself

The idea of denial can play tricks in your head and ruin your poise when you allow it to stay rampant. In case your significant other breaks your relationship or you can’t land a fantastic job, that does not entail you didn’t give it your best shot. You did more than enough – remember that. Only, there’s a possibility the people who rejected you are searching for something – or someone – else, and that’s not your fault.

Dedicate some time to yourself to do something you enjoy. Listen to a podcast, watch a movie, pick up a novel. — Marni Amsellem, PhD

  1. Move Forward

The final tip to get away from rejection is to keep on going after your life goals. You have already dealt with the sadness that it brings; you also know what parts of yourself require improvements. Now, all there is to do is make sure to grab every opportunity that comes your way until you find a path that satisfies you.

Coping Mechanisms To Help You Deal With A Loved One’s Death

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It feels so dark when a friend, significant other, child or close family member dies, doesn’t it? The experience is undoubtedly much bitter than accepting a divorce or job loss because you can no longer hear your loved one’s hearty laughter or witness them achieve their goals. There may be regret too, especially if you became estranged from the deceased and death robbed your opportunity to rekindle your relationship with that person.

These emotions can fuel negative thoughts and drive you down the depression lane in no time. Despite that, you should never allow it to happen because your dearly departed won’t be able to move on once they know you’re wasting away your life over something you cannot change.

In case you want to live again for them and yourself, try the coping mechanisms below.

  1. Understand Your Feelings

Dealing with a loved one’s death will make you feel different things throughout the grieving period. You may be in denial at first, and then start blaming yourself and others for not being able to help prolong the deceased individual’s life. The bouts of sadness and guilt may come to play as well. But instead of choosing to numb these emotions, just let them flow without doing anything about them for a while. You’ll later realize that stopping death is beyond your strengths and hopefully, get over the loss efficiently.

Creativity demands you have periods of time where you don’t think about work or problems. The more complex a situation, the more you overload your brain. — Marcia Reynolds Psy.D.

  1. Talk When You’re Ready

Now and then, it seems extra practical to try handling grief on your own. There won’t be people telling you what to feel and how the dead folks are in a better place now, at least, which you evidently know at the back of your head. Once you’ve come to terms with your new reality, you may then open up to the living about the emotional ordeal you endured.

  1. Remain Sober

Whatever you do, don’t ever use alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs. Consuming such substances can only give you temporary happiness and push the idea of moving on as far away from your mind as possible. The pain, therefore, will stay with you and encourage you to abuse these harmful elements – a decision that will ruin your life and sadden your deceased loved ones wherever they must be.

It’s important to consistently remind ourselves of the profound effect we alone have over our destiny. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

  1. Follow A Healthy Lifestyle

Depressing thoughts will freely run in your brain when you refuse to eat, exercise, bathe, get out of the bed, or even open the curtains in the house. It won’t be an insult to the dearly departed if you have healthy meals, workout, and get some work done after the funeral. The activities can, in fact, toughen your mind and body as you try to heal from their demise.

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  1. Remember The Dead Person’s Glorious Moments

On occasions when you think about the things they could’ve accomplished if only they were alive, force yourself to recall their triumphs in the past. The former will turn your mood down, yet the latter may bring a smile to your face, which most dying individuals want you to do every time you remember them.

Being strictly in the here and now would be like having advanced Alzheimers. — Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D., MPP

3 Life Lessons To Remember Today

There is no easy way to live and enjoy life. Whether you like it or not, there will always be struggles and challenges that will come your way. What is essential is to learn how you can become the most fantastic version of yourself, no matter how complicated life gets. Make sure that you know how to live life to the fullest. Sometimes, all you have to do is to remind yourself of the life lessons from the most successful individuals.

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In this article, we are going to share some insights with you. Be sure that you familiarize them so that you can start to live a worry-free life.

We conform to the notions and ideals of our society, our family and other influences that can drown out our own point of view. We spend our lives repeating patterns and filling prescriptions from our past that don’t serve us in the present. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

Lesson No. 1: Let The Past Go

If there is one thing that you must train yourself to do, it is to learn how to let go of the past. You must stop dwelling for all the things that happened in your past because they are already absolute. It means that there is nothing that you can do to change them. What is essential at this point is you learn the value of appreciating the present and preparing for the future. Remind yourself that the activities and things you do in the present can affect your future in so many ways. Do not let anyone or anything in the past prevent you from achieving your full potential.

Good negotiators prepare before their meetings. They know what they are willing to give up and what their bottom line is where the negotiations stop. — Marcia Reynolds Psy.D.

Lesson No. 2: Follow Your Dreams

Another thing that you must always instill in your mind is to prevent others from dictating your life. No one should tell you what to do, where to go, or when to do a particular action. Be smart enough to be assertive in following your dreams. Listen to the true desires of your heart. Promise yourself that you will always do whatever it takes to go after your dreams. You have to believe that you can become a successful individual as long as you are passionate about what you do. Take note that it is essential to keep on doing what you love because it is the secret to happiness. Otherwise, you will only end up having sleepless nights because of your endless questions about what-ifs.

I appreciate that sometimes I don’t appreciate my attention allocation. I’m happy to have mixed feelings about where I focus, because that’s how I refine my focus. — Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D., MPP

Lesson No. 3: Work Hard All The Time

You must also keep in mind that success does not come easy. You have to work harder for the things that you want. You cannot continue to get the best out this world without working hard for it. Remember that nothing worth having will come easy. Do not think that just because you are always thinking positive, everything will just magically appear in your life. The truth is that you must also exert effort into achieving what you truly desire. You have to stop finding a reason for procrastinating. Instead, focus on giving all your best in everything that you does. You will be surprised at how it can improve your life for the better. Prepare a life that is full of abundance and greatness once you understand the true meaning of the third lesson.

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Always remind yourself of these lessons every single day.

How To Make Jealousy Work To Your Advantage

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Raise your hand if you’ve spent any time in the past month dreaming about a different life. — Amie M. Gordon, Ph.D.

Parents, schoolteachers, and other grownups usually tell youngsters how to behave. “Ask before taking anything,” “stand up for yourself,” and “be polite” are some of the things that children hear from them. There are plenty of don’t’s as well, such as staying angry, not sharing your blessing, and being jealous.

Most of them make perfect sense, of course. The adults want to prevent kids from doing poor things; that’s why the ethics lessons are always there. However, there are still emotions that seem wrong at first, yet they may be advantageous as long as you have them in tiny doses.

Take jealousy, for example. Learn how it can work for you down below.

  1. You Become A Curious Person

Curiosity, contrary to popular belief, does not kill anything. It can motivate you to find out how someone else achieved a dream that’s very similar to yours. In case you can’t reach them in person, you read articles or see videos of them online and try to understand the difference between your methods toward success.

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Schedule a five minute “priority-setting” session for yourself every day, even non-workdays. — Marcia Reynolds Psy.D.

  1. It Makes Your Goals Clear

When you are jealous, it means you wish to have what others have. That feeling can be beneficial for you because you immediately have an idea about the things you want in life. The single time it won’t work out for you is once you try to take away their source of happiness instead of seeking your own.

  1. Competition Can Inspire You To Do Better

It is effortless to sulk and stay mad at people for outgunning you in areas of academics, business, or love. You can make faces all day long behind their back, yet that won’t still push you to the top. A better way is to see their achievements as the new standard so that everything you’ll do from that moment on may allow you to beat them.

  1. You Can Turn Rivals Into Colleagues

Do you remember how the antagonists in the movies often say, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”? Protagonists in real life can believe in that too without being mean. After all, any industry is big enough for multiple players. The more connections you have within the same field, the higher your chances will be of succeeding.

To varying degrees, we fail to differentiate ourselves, to separate from limiting outside influences and realize our unique value in the world around us. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

  1. It Lets You Revisit Your Strategies

Becoming jealous of another individual’s accomplishments should be a wake-up call to you that something in your plan isn’t right. For a student, perhaps you’re focusing more on playing video games or dating; thus, a classmate got better grades than you. For a career man or woman, maybe you need to come up with more ideas to show the bosses and clients that you’re worthy of their trust.

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  1. You’ll Be Able To Learn From Success Stories

You may transform jealousy into appreciation. Those smart folks indeed went out of their way to get what they want; that’s why they deserve to reap the benefits of their hard work. Once you finally accept that they did a great job, you can then concentrate on making a similar thing happen in your life.