It feels so dark when a friend, significant other, child or close family member dies, doesn’t it? The experience is undoubtedly much bitter than accepting a divorce or job loss because you can no longer hear your loved one’s hearty laughter or witness them achieve their goals. There may be regret too, especially if you became estranged from the deceased and death robbed your opportunity to rekindle your relationship with that person.
These emotions can fuel negative thoughts and drive you down the depression lane in no time. Despite that, you should never allow it to happen because your dearly departed won’t be able to move on once they know you’re wasting away your life over something you cannot change.
In case you want to live again for them and yourself, try the coping mechanisms below.
- Understand Your Feelings
Dealing with a loved one’s death will make you feel different things throughout the grieving period. You may be in denial at first, and then start blaming yourself and others for not being able to help prolong the deceased individual’s life. The bouts of sadness and guilt may come to play as well. But instead of choosing to numb these emotions, just let them flow without doing anything about them for a while. You’ll later realize that stopping death is beyond your strengths and hopefully, get over the loss efficiently.
Creativity demands you have periods of time where you don’t think about work or problems. The more complex a situation, the more you overload your brain. — Marcia Reynolds Psy.D.
- Talk When You’re Ready
Now and then, it seems extra practical to try handling grief on your own. There won’t be people telling you what to feel and how the dead folks are in a better place now, at least, which you evidently know at the back of your head. Once you’ve come to terms with your new reality, you may then open up to the living about the emotional ordeal you endured.
- Remain Sober
Whatever you do, don’t ever use alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs. Consuming such substances can only give you temporary happiness and push the idea of moving on as far away from your mind as possible. The pain, therefore, will stay with you and encourage you to abuse these harmful elements – a decision that will ruin your life and sadden your deceased loved ones wherever they must be.
It’s important to consistently remind ourselves of the profound effect we alone have over our destiny. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
- Follow A Healthy Lifestyle
Depressing thoughts will freely run in your brain when you refuse to eat, exercise, bathe, get out of the bed, or even open the curtains in the house. It won’t be an insult to the dearly departed if you have healthy meals, workout, and get some work done after the funeral. The activities can, in fact, toughen your mind and body as you try to heal from their demise.
- Remember The Dead Person’s Glorious Moments
On occasions when you think about the things they could’ve accomplished if only they were alive, force yourself to recall their triumphs in the past. The former will turn your mood down, yet the latter may bring a smile to your face, which most dying individuals want you to do every time you remember them.
Being strictly in the here and now would be like having advanced Alzheimers. — Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D., MPP