Say, you confess your love to an old friend or an acquaintance. He or she, however, awkwardly informs you that the feeling isn’t mutual. Now, what will you do?
Being in the center of that situation can bring out a lot of emotions, which are undoubtedly damaging at most. It’s already embarrassing to hear the rejection when it’s only the two of you in the same room. But in case you turned the confession into too huge of a deal and did it in front of the people you both know, then your world may just shatter into a billion pieces.
Despite the hurt that unrequited love comes with, however, you should be thankful that the man or woman of your affection was honest with you. Although getting rejected is hard, nothing can still beat getting cheated on or abandoned.
The road to recovery is rough, not just because we are struggling with the real loss of a person or a way of life we really loved, but because every painful rejection is fueled by two forces: the actuality of the loss itself and the army of negative, self-loathing thoughts reawakens within us. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
So, try your mightiest to avoid these top mistakes when dealing with unrequited love.
- Claiming That You’re OK Repeatedly
You can tell stories as much as you like about how well you are after the failed confession, yet even the stray bird that possible saw the event unfold knows that you are far from being OK. Be honest about it, and don’t be afraid to cry if that will lighten up your mood.
- Staying Close To The Person Who Denied Your Feelings
The regular statement of someone who just rejected another human being is: “I hope we can still be friends.” For sure, it may happen, but you need to get away from him or her first so that the healing process can begin.
- Listening To Sad Love Songs
While it is quite addictive to play tunes about unrequited love, some of the lyrics may only let your mind wander toward the pain and the what-ifs. Your emotions may subside faster once you listen to upbeat songs instead.
We don’t always win the heart of the person we pursue and we don’t always get the job we want, either. Not everyone is going to be chosen for the team and not every social situation is going to turn out the way we would like. — Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.
- Obsessing About The One-Sided Love
Talking about your broken heart is acceptable if the ordeal is still fresh. Considering a year already passed, and you’re continuously posting or tweeting regarding that experience on social media, then that’s an obsession you have to quit immediately.
- Being Angry At The Person Who Rejected You
Regardless of how terrible the dismissal is for you, you can’t get mad at that guy or lady who did it, especially if they said the words in a respectful manner. It isn’t their fault that you like them or they don’t like you. You’re just not meant to be, that’s all.
- Having No Other Plans
Another mistake that an individual blinded by love can commit is going in the battle with a single plan. Once that occurs, you may catch yourself doing the most absurd stuff, such as partying till you drop and going down with depression. That’s why it’s significant to have a strategy in motion in case you end up with unrequited love.
- Continuing To Worship That Boy/Girl
The scenario wherein a person dismisses someone’s feelings and then turns around to take it back only happens in movies. In reality, a no means a no. Hence, you should focus on moving on and stop waiting for him or her to love you.
Regularly finding healthy outlets for yourself is key to successfully navigating daily challenges and maintaining emotional health. — Marni Amsellem, PhD