Frequently Asked Questions About The Best Therapy For Borderline Personality Disorder

Mental illness is something that can affect all aspects and areas of your life. It changes the way you think, act, and function. Awareness about various mental health conditions is growing by the day.

Shedding light into these problems provides insight into handling and overcoming them. 

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a condition characterized by intense mood swings and impulsive behavior. Although similar to depression and other behavioral disorders, BPD is different. Individuals who may have it may engage in risky and destructive behavior.

People diagnosed with BPD are prone to self-harm. Substance abuse, bodily harm, or even binge eating are common manifestations as well as sudden bursts of emotions such as intense anger and sadness. 


Left untreated, BPD can be debilitating and negatively impact life. Relationship problems are common due to over-dependency and the development of toxic behavior.

Some cases even show paranoia caused by fluctuating moods. Overall, BPD can be destructive and harmful to patients and people around them.

Despite these effects, BPD can get effective treatment through a specialized combination of medication and psychotherapy. Treatments for BPD focus on understanding the condition and reducing impulsive actions.

Therapy is impactful in allowing patients to manage their emotions. People with BPD can live happy and meaningful lives with help from these guided treatment plans. 

Are you seeking help for you or a loved one with BPD? Here are the frequently asked questions about therapy that might help. 

What is the best therapy for a borderline personality disorder?

Dialectical behavioral therapy is the most common type of treatment to address borderline personality disorder (BPD). It is a cognitive behavioral therapy aiming to teach patients how to regulate emotions and tolerate stress.

This type of treatment applies to individual and group therapy. In group dialectical behavioral therapy, you will undergo meditation, muscle relaxation, problem-solving, and breath training.

Can BPD be treated successfully?

BPD is often ingrained in a person’s personality and identity, but therapy and medication can successfully treat it. Medication controls the symptoms, while psychotherapy addresses the root causes of BPD.

Through cognitive-behavioral therapies such as dialectical and schema-focused therapy, you will learn how to react healthily to your thoughts and emotions. Psychodynamic therapy is also helpful in changing unhealthy patterns of behavior developed in early childhood.

How long is the treatment for a borderline personality disorder?

Psychotherapy spans 1 to 3 years for the successful treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. This disorder requires a lot of work, as it deals with the interior workings of your brain. It may take a long time to manage, monitor, and reduce BPD symptoms, but it is possible to treat them.

What triggers a person with a borderline personality disorder?

Feelings or situations of rejection and abandonment trigger BPD. These situations may arise from relationship issues or random memories of child abuse.

When exposed to conditions evoking these feelings, they tend to feel intense fear and anger. These reactions then lead to impulsive actions, self-harm, and suicide ideations.

Can a person with BPD love?

A person with BPD is caring and affectionate. However, they can sometimes give too much or too little, making their love unhealthy or toxic at times.

Being in a relationship can be dysfunctional for them at times. But with sufficient psychotherapy, they will learn to control feelings and actions and thus adapt how to love healthily.

What is the best mood stabilizer for a borderline personality disorder?

Lithium carbonate and anticonvulsant medications prove useful in controlling mood swings and impulsivity.

Anticonvulsants tested for BPD include Lamotrigine, Carbamazepine, and Oxcarbazepine. But remember, mood stabilizers, however compelling, should be taken alongside psychotherapy treatments.

Can someone with BPD ever be happy?

People with borderline personality disorder feel emotions at high intensities, so yes, they can be overly happy. As for being truly happy and content, borderlines can learn how to regulate their emotions and actions healthily through therapy.

How can you tell if someone has a borderline personality disorder?

There are nine distinct symptoms found in most BPD patients. BPD patients fear abandonment and rejection, intense feelings of anger, and emotional mood swings. As a result, they also have a history of unstable relationships.

Chronic feelings of emptiness, self-destructive and impulsive actions, and self-harm are also symptoms that BPD patients exhibit. They also have a vague sense of self and can thus be out of touch with reality and even paranoid.

If you have these symptoms, immediately seek the help of a medical professional.


What is a high functioning borderline personality disorder?

High functioning borderline personality disorder or quiet BPD is when a patient manifests symptoms inwardly. High functioning borderlines tend to hide their mood swings, which can last from a few hours to a span of days.

People with high functioning BPD can also take things personally and get upset, to the point of cutting off people. They may also have low self-esteem and often feel numbness, guilt, and emptiness. High functioning BPD even goes to great lengths to please people and feel worthy.

Are borderlines intelligent?

Borderlines are often associated with being hyper-emphatic and are thus intelligent in an emotional and mental sense. They are highly perceptive of other people’s emotions and intuitive when it comes to difficult situations.

They have interpersonal intelligence, which makes them aware of other people’s feelings.

Are bpd aware of their behavior?

Borderlines tend to focus on other people to avoid feelings of rejection. However, studies have shown how people with BPD were more self-aware than healthy people. Self-awareness can lead to more self-shame and guilt, resulting in an endless cycle of unhealthy coping mechanisms.

How do borderlines think?

Borderlines think in extremes. They can often gloss over complex situations and only see cases as being entirely good or completely bad. Borderlines may also be paranoid sometimes and think of scenarios wherein they may get abandoned, leading to impulsive behavior.

What is quiet borderline?

Quiet borderline is also called the high-functioning borderline. Having a quiet borderline may make it harder for therapists to diagnose your condition because of its inward effect. The symptoms are the same with BPD but are sometimes self-inflicted and bottled up.

Thus, a quiet borderline can seem well on the outside while experiencing BPD symptoms in their mind.

How can you tell if a woman is borderline?

BPD symptoms for men and women are almost the same and can thus be used to identify borderlines. Here are the nine characteristics of borderlines:

  • Fear of rejection and abandonment
  • Impulsive behavior
  • A fragile sense of self
  • Feelings of emptiness
  • Wild mood swings
  • Intense and irrational anger
  • Paranoia
  • Unstable relationships
  • Self-destructive actions

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is seen by many as something scary or dangerous. It is usually caused by severe stress and may even run in the family.  Even with the risky and impulsive behavior, it comes with BPD. Symptoms can be managed and controlled. 

When symptoms of BPD are spotted, it is critical to seek professional help. Although there are gaps in our current knowledge about BPD, psychologists and therapists can help patients with this condition.

It is crucial to acknowledge this problem as early as possible to reduce harmful behaviors brought by the condition. 

The outlook for people with BPD is generally favorable. Therapy, medication, and most importantly, lots of time are essential to the process. Still, it will be worth it.

You may encounter standard methods such as dialectic behavioral therapy that can help reframe the way you think and act in your life. 

Finding the right mental health partner, whether a mental health professional or therapist, is vital to your journey in controlling your condition. Continuous treatment for BPD will diminish its hold on your life.

Over time, people with BPD can form long-term relationships and have healthy expressions of emotions. 

Pushing through the whole treatment process may be a difficult path, but things will get better. It is important to get treatment. However, keep in mind to communicate with your therapist about this. Plans are only effective when they are personalized and suit your needs. 

How A Toxic Relationship Affected My Mental Health


I met James when he had nothing but hopes and dreams for the future. He was a struggling screenwriter, you see. He had a script that he could turn into a movie, but production companies already turned him down. Despite my family’s disapproval, I fell for his charms and agreed to move to New York with him and leave my life in Indiana behind so that James could pursue his dreams. I believed in his talent, and I loved him, so I could not see what’s wrong with my decision.

In the Big Apple, we had to get the smallest apartment in a shady side of the town so that we could afford living there for six months – that’s only how long our combined savings would let us. Although it was honestly the size of my bedroom back home, James didn’t hear me complain at all. In fairness to him, he knew that I was not super comfortable in the cramped space, so he said, “Give me six months to find producers for my script, and then we will move to a much nicer apartment.”


I naturally hung on to James’ every word and tried looking for jobs, which I never needed because my parents provided everything for me back home. I got accepted as a waitress at a local diner and sometimes subbed as a delivery girl. On the other hand, James focused on looking for movie producers, so he could not chip in for all additional expenses. Still, I told myself that I was making an incredible investment by putting my faith in him and supporting him in more ways than one.

It didn’t take more than four months before the producers contacted James, asking if his script was still available. They saw it in the no-no pile of another producer, but they thought it was great after reading it, so they went on to find my man.

When I came back to our tiny apartment that evening, I was slightly confused when I saw all our belongings already packed. Then, I found James sitting in the corner and worried if the landlord kicked us out. As soon as I dropped on the floor next to him, though, he hugged me tight and told me the good news. We screamed and cried together; I was so happy that he was finally achieving his dreams, and I got to be a part of it. As for our stuff, the production company gave him a bonus that day, so he got a new – bigger – apartment near Broadway.


The Start Of A Toxic Relationship

It was fun to be the life partner of a rising screenwriter. James got invited to all these fancy parties, and I was always his plus one. While he was getting interviewed, I was waiting for him in the sidelines, smiling from ear to ear. I was proud of James; there was no denying it.

But the more he rose to fame, the less we got to be together. Gone were those nights when we used to side by the window and talk about our dreams of growing old as a couple. Whenever he came home, James was drunk, or I was already fast asleep. He then agreed to attend other parties, regardless of whether it landed on my birthday or our anniversary. Slowly but surely, we turned more into roommates than lovers.

Then, some common friends said that they saw James going into a strip club several times a week. My instinct was to yell, “Liar!” That was my James they were talking about, after all – the sweet boy I fell in love with in Indiana. However, when I recounted the story to James one night, I saw the shock and guilt on his face. What’s more, there was a stripper that he slept with a couple of times, but he insisted that I was still the only one in his heart.


Ending The Toxic Relationship

That was the last straw for me. I could bear it if he was often drunk or bent over work, but I could never forgive a cheater. I packed the suitcase that I went to New York with, purposely leaving everything James gave me throughout the years. It must have been the right decision because I went to the airport as a chance passenger, and I managed to board the plane two hours later. Before it took off, I called my sister to tell her what happened briefly and that I was on the way back home.

When I landed, I cried hard after seeing that my parents came to pick me up. We hugged each other tightly, not bothering if others found us weird. I kept saying, “I’m sorry,” while my family rubbed my back and said, “It’s okay; you’re home now.”


It took a few days to readjust to my old life without James, but I soon realized how toxic our relationship had been. I spent the last few years trying to help him fulfill his dreams, and he paid me back by neglecting and cheating on me. 

Well, that will never happen again.

Does Bipolar Disorder Run In The Family?



Bipolar disorder is officially known as a mental health condition. Individuals with this illness can experience periods of mania or positive behaviors and then negative moods or depression. These mood swings happen abruptly, and almost 3% of adolescents and adults in America have it, as reported by the National Institute of Mental Health. Although the cause of bipolar disorder is generally unclear, studies have shown a possible link between the illness and family history. They further insinuated that there might be a genetic predisposition to it.

Family History And Bipolar Disorder

Up until today, researchers have not discovered concrete causes of bipolar disorder, but they were able to recognize several risk factors, the strongest of which is family history. This may be secondary to specific genes. Adults with family members who were diagnosed with the disorder have ten times increased risk of having the disorder. A 2009 review states that if the family member is a close one, such first or second-degree, your risk is even much higher. Meaning that if one of your parents has the disorder, there is a huge possibility that you will have it compared to someone whose uncle or grandmother has it.

Other Triggers And Factors

  • Environmental

A stressful situation often causes the onset of bipolar disorder. This situation might be something that is associated with a person’s personal life or his workplace. An unexpected event, like a tragic accident or the death of a loved one, may also be a trigger to the onset of the disorder. Individuals diagnosed with the illness find it beneficial to manage the stress and other challenges in their lives.

Weather conditions can also trigger episodes of mania or depression for those who have the disorder. The seasonal change from winter to spring, for example, is a solid trigger due to the swift increase in the hours of sunshine during daytime, which has a significant effect on a person’s pineal gland. Other factors that can evoke bipolar symptoms include alcohol or drug abuse and sleeplessness. In some particular circumstances, women with the disorder are triggered just after they have given birth, but this is specific to those who are genetically inclined to having the disorder. This is not to say that pregnancy is among the underlying causes of bipolar illness.



People whose parents are bipolar often wonder if it’s important for them to screened regularly for the illness. Yes, it is not a bad idea at all. But ultimately, it is best to confide in someone that you fully trust, someone from your family perhaps, or a close friend or significant other. Loved ones are usually the first ones who notice the symptoms if you have it, and, of course, they are first in line to help you get medical help if symptoms do occur. If your loved ones tell you honestly that they can’t seem to understand your erratic behavior and you are sometimes ‘not yourself,’ you might consider going to the doctor for consultation.


  • Structure of the Brain

There have been relevant differences in the brain structure, activity, and size of individuals with bipolar disorder. Additionally, there is also a higher likelihood seen in people who have had traumatic head damage and concussions.

Bipolar Disorder Symptoms

If you or a family member may have bipolar disorder, you must have knowledge of the possible symptoms that you should watch out for. The kind of symptoms that manifest in a person determines the type of bipolar disorder an individual is classified as. The types may be depression or mania, and the symptoms include but are not limited to:

  • Reckless behavior
  • Perceives his abilities rather unrealistically
  • Poor judgment
  • Easily agitated
  • Exaggerated happiness or in a state of euphoria
  • Thinks and talks quickly
  • Excited in getting into risky activities like drunk driving or gambling

Some symptoms of bipolar depression are comparable to those of regular depression, some of which include extreme fatigue, slow speech, poor appetite, long-term feeling of sadness, inability to focus and decide wisely self-isolation, and suicidal ideations.

Bipolar Disorder Treatment

Treatment usually involves behavioral therapy, prescription medications, or a combination of both. Several medications have been shown to treat bipolar disorder effectively, the most potent of which is lithium. It functions to prevent the occurrence of relapses and treats mania and bipolar depression. Other drugs known to be prescribed by doctors to treat the disorder are carbamazepine, topiramate, gabapentin, and lamotrigine, which are all anticonvulsants. As for therapy, the most commonly used for bipolar disorder is cognitive-behavioral therapy or CBT. Other treatments found to be effective are omega-3 fatty acid supplementation, electroconvulsive therapy, peer group support, and meditation.




To date, bipolar disorder is not yet fully understood, but the fact that it does run in the family is a known fact that has been backed by evidence. If you know someone from your family who is bipolar, then your likelihood of developing the illness is greater compared to those without a hereditary connection. However, this doesn’t consequently mean that you will definitely have it. If you think you have noticed some symptoms of bipolar disorder in yourself, don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor, who is capable enough to provide more information about bipolar disorder and how you can manage it.




Life With COVID-19

It has been impossible to escape updates and news about the spreading of Coronavirus. Everywhere people go, pretty much the situation is the talk of the town. Well, the issue is not just about keeping a social distance or washing off hands frequently. There’s undoubtedly more to that. And while it is incredibly important to stay informed, there are also issues about exaggeration, fear-mongering, misinformation, and sensationalism that individuals had to deal with. In this article, we are going to discuss what it’s like to have the disease in compliance with cold and hard facts. But note, since this pandemic condition is developing rapidly, it is encouraged that people also work with their independent research.


What Is COVID-19?

COVID-19 is a respiratory illness where it attacks the lungs’ airways. The disease doesn’t happen automatically, though. If people got infected, it probably would come from another person that is already infected with the virus. The disease is transferred to people due to droplets of saliva or fluid discharge from the nose. Thus, the requirement of wearing a face mask all the time is a top priority. Fortunately, the disease can only cause a mild illness, especially to those people with strong immunity. However, for those individuals with pre-existing medical conditions, the illness can be fatal. Sometimes, it leads to death. Therefore, the disease is extremely dangerous for individuals older than 50.


What Happens When You Get Infected?

Note that signs and symptoms of the disease vary from one person to another. But in typical situations, the first seven to ten days of infection display noticeable symptoms. These include constant coughing, sneezing, fever, headache, and breathing problems. In some unfortunate cases, some infected individuals tend to be asymptomatic. Meaning, even though they were positive with the virus in their body, these people will show no signs throughout the course of their infection. Thus, others will have problems distinguishing them as carriers. In line with this, taking safety precautions becomes exceptionally vital.


Is Being Asymptomatic Okay?

No, of course not. There is at least a significant percentage of asymptomatic people that are positive with COVID-19. And perhaps, they will completely remain that way. Thus, if these individuals fall into this category, they are at the least risk of developing severe symptoms of the virus infection. So they might have a chance not to experience any serious health complications. However, being asymptomatic comes with great danger. These individuals can potentially infect others through a lack of caution. That is why it is essential to understand that even if people think they are not infected with the virus, they should still maintain physical distancing.


What’s The Possible Symptom?

While the grand majority of people with the disease show severe symptoms, a large number of these people will only display a mild cold flu-like virus. If people are lucky enough to fall into this category, it might be because they are healthy and with little to no chronic health conditions. Thus, it is most likely that individuals will only experience a cough and fever. Though it doesn’t feel good, it is a sign that individuals with mild symptoms are more likely to stay away from serious threats or deaths from what they are experiencing. Fortunately, the disease turns into a halt within three weeks from an incubation that lasts five to 10 days.

Once again, if people find themselves having signs of COVID-19, they must immediately contact a health professional. It is also essential that they remain isolated from others to avoid spreading the virus. They must also maintain good hygiene, eat healthy foods, and stay hydrated all the time.

Wedding Trends To Look Forward To This Year And Onwards


tree morning leaf sign red color autumn wedding married marriage season font



Flowers, music, and colors filled the venue of the 2018 Wedding Conference. It was an event designed to expand networking, education, and engagement among wedding organizers and also with the wedding vendors who were provided with a classy space to showcase their products and services during the conference. It began with a luncheon, then on to dinner, and then cocktails. It was an excellent opportunity for startup wedding planning teams to see and listen to big-time organizers across the country talk about their strategies, styles, and how they manage to make their concepts unique and exciting. The latest wedding fads and ideas and the future of the wedding industry was one of the most important topics discussed at the event.

If you’re a wedding planner looking for the freshest and latest wedding trends to follow and base your concepts from, read on, and learn some of those trends here.

Micro Weddings

This simply means planning a small wedding of about 40 guests or less. However, just like any exclusive celebration, an event like this has got to deliver big, so the budget per person is significant as well. We are talking about your family and closest friends here, so it wouldn’t be a waste of money to spend on their deliciously expensive meals and lots of personalized touches. This type of trend is suitable for introverts, those who would rather mingle with those who are closest to their hearts.

Going Green

Sustainable celebrations are increasingly popular these days. You might want to suggest an upcycled wedding by planning a zero-waste/zero-plastic reception. You can start by resetting a family engagement ring, repurposing wedding decor, and purchasing locally grown food.


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Clips And Combs

Veils are probably not going to go out of fashion, but tiaras have stayed and even been upgraded as well. In fact, hair jewelry like clips and combs have been designed with stones and beautiful glitters to suit the gown of the lovely bride. The combs are perfect for the bride’s natural curls.

Table Combinations

This is one of the most budget-friendly styles. Rather than choosing the round and long tables, select something more artful. Winding tables look unique, plus it saves space too. You can have different tables pushed together to make a certain design that you want to achieve. If you think that it’s going to crowd the venue, perhaps you can utilize rectangular tables and create another design – it’s really up to you – and the couple, of course.





Stop The Pandemic Panic Now!


Our brains are always seeking out the threat. It is part of its function to allow us to create decisions such as fighting it or running away from it. However, if there is no option available, that is when we find ourselves in a frozen state. And it is a mental status where our brain reacts to things emotionally and differently. It makes us more reactive and impulsive. It also narrows our vision and makes us incompetent to make better life decisions.



With all the stressful situations we are facing now due to the Coronavirus outbreak, we can expect fewer variables of mental strength. The global negative information we get everywhere is exhausting and depressing. That is why we find ourselves in a sense of panic. And that panic leads to many other forms of mental health issues such as stress, anxiety, and depression. It can also lead to thoughts of self-harm and suicide. Therefore, we need to talk about the ways to manage better and clam our response in this situation. We need to find solace in this chaotic global health crisis.

Recognize Our Emotions

Almost all of us are anxious about the pandemic situation but are not aware of it. As far as we know, it is a standard flow in our system to think about the negative things related to the outbreak because it is currently relevant. But anxiety is more that. We need to be mindful of knowing what we entirely feel. It will help us understand better the choices we have to make. It will also help us avoid creating assumptions of what we physically, emotionally, and mentally need to do.


Allow Ourselves To Grieve

This particular global health situation is terrifying. As much as we want to stay positive that it will soon all end, we need to grieve about this. We need to feel the loss of events in our lives for us to paint a bigger picture. We need to grieve with the deaths of millions of people for us to value the ones who are still there. We need to acknowledge the pain and suffering we have for us to become emotionally and mentally stronger. We need to grieve to realize that life, even though in situations like this, has still something to offer.

Shake It Off

Moving our bodies help in dysregulation, we feel due to the situation. And since our bodies are different from one another, we have to do what we can to shake away the stress. We can do a quick stretch; we can work on short yoga practice or maybe do a more intensive exercise. Whatever our preferences are, we need to move our body to help our nervous system regulate itself so we can calm down. It will allow us to process the whole situation and make us feel a little bit better.


Have Meaningful Conversations

With the uncertainty of this global crisis, we can only make every moment counts. We need to find time to make meaningful conversations with people that are close to us. Yes, in most unfortunate times, our friends and family might not be available. But we can always look for ways to work on social distancing and securing parameter. Because in this state of constant stress and panic, one of our chances to stay mentally healthy is to connect with people socially.

In times like this, it is okay to get angry, sad, and anxious. It is okay to try and bargain our way to change things. But we have to be mindful that once we are done with this mental torture, we have to focus. We still have a life ahead of us once this pandemic is over.

It’s Not Anxiety – It’s ADHD

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Dr. Rachel V. Gow moved a lot of families at the 2017 ADHD Women and Girls Conference held last October. The participants were mostly parents and families of girls and women with ADHD, and they were comforted by the words that the good doctor spoke during the event. You see, there have been reports that girls and women with ADHD are often misdiagnosed or called useless names. This issue was elaborately addressed by Dr. Gow so that the participants would understand why this is the situation. The missed diagnoses and unhealthy labels that were given to these girls and women were also discussed thoroughly so that those concerned and those who were mindless about these things would be made aware.

Anxiety. In people with ADHD, there is difficulty regulating thoughts and behaviors. Thus, those with the disorder tend to be forgetful and often miss keeping track of relevant information. It seems like there’s always something wrong, so they – most often the girls and the women – get anxious and worried over something or nothing at all. That is why others think it’s just generalized anxiety when, in fact, it is ADHD.

OCD. For some women with ADHD who get frustrated by their forgetful and reckless behaviors, they try to fight this by practicing a habit and eventually overdoing it. For example, once a girl with ADHD forgot to turn off the stove and something terrible happened, she promised that she would practice checking the oven every night to avoid committing the same mistake she did. However, she might end up checking the stove several times because of that fear she felt. In the case of this girl, no, it is not OCD. It is ADHD.

Girl Lying On Bed, Resting, Sleeps, Dream, Cute, Home


Depression. When someone is depressed, she may become unusually lazy and will keep postponing her daily obligations because she wants nothing more than to lie in bed. But women and girls manifest with this kind of behavior too, and when they do this, people think they are depressed even if they’re not. They’re just overly procrastinating.




Loving Someone With Depression (Part 2)

When you are in a relationship, you exert an effort to support your partner. You express your love and affection in a way that your significant other can respond. But what if he or she is suffering from depression? How can it affect you and your relationship? How can you become helpful in that scary condition?


It is not unloving to learn to maintain a distance from the depression; it may, in fact, be the only thing that keeps you healthy and available. — Angela Avery, MA, LLPC, NCC

Understanding The Situation Even If It Hurts

There are times that our loved ones – who are suffering from depression – tend to push us away. They make it hard for us to extend our help due to their emotional instability. Sometimes, they feel guilty about their situation every time we try to make them feel better. They have this mentality that nobody understands them, and everything is not going to help them. It puts pressure unto us because we know we need to be there for them, but we seem to have problems getting near them. They think they don’t need someone in their lives. They feel awful about themselves a lot of times, and because they love us, they don’t want our involvement when it comes to their mental state.

We have to understand that our loved ones need help. When they try to shut us down, we need to remember that it’s not because they don’t care about us. Our significant others only want to avoid putting their stress unto us that’s why pushing us away is the only thing they can think of doing. They feel sorry for the situation and feel bad that we have to go through it together with them. Sometimes, they only need space, so there’s no need for us to pull back. We need to remind them that we care, support, and love them at all cost.

To combat depression means taking on this internal enemy. This may involve looking into your past to help determine where these critical thoughts came from. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

Draining And Upsetting But Challenging

Being in love with a person who suffers from depression is draining and upsetting. It can make us feel devastated and tired of all the struggles we encounter almost every day. In all honesty, we sometimes think about giving up. But if we do, we know we won’t be able to support the person we love. The decision making even gets to the point that we no longer want to be part of it anymore and we only want to break free from the stress that our relationship is giving us. Sometimes, we unintentionally respond to their situation in a counteractive manner, and it causes us a lot of frustration.

Though the situation might be draining, we need to remember that it’s much harder for our partners to get through with it. Therefore, caring for ourselves is essential so we can continue to support our loved ones in their struggle. We should stop thinking about fixing them but rather encourage ourselves to work on challenging things that can help them realize their significance in our lives.

No doubt, there’s good intention lurking beneath some of the things people say to those experiencing depression. Good intention, though, does little to ease pain. — Jenise Harmon, LISW-S


Depression can make our loved ones think that the world has given up on them, so we need to assure them that we are going to stay and be there for them. For someone who battles with this kind of mental disorder, our presence is the only thing that’s needed.

Loving Someone With Depression (Part 1)

Depression is a psychological illness that affects a person’s life, and when you are in a relationship with someone who is experiencing the mental condition, everything can change. A lot of times, it is hard to understand the situation that’s why it causes us to break down and have difficulties functioning because we sometimes fail to help the person we love. We try to do things for them that we think are helpful, but they aren’t. Therefore, it is essential that we understand everything about depression for us to be able to help our significant other.

One of the worst symptoms of depression is a feeling of hopelessness. This very feeling can inhibit someone suffering from taking the steps that would help them combat their depression. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

Using Encouraging Words

When we tell our loved one to look on the brighter side of things, get out from their comfort zone, and see things differently, we encourage them to be positive. The truth is, those words don’t help them at all. Our significant other’s mental condition is incomparable to having a bad day or feeling sad. We need to understand that though we may have a list of encouraging words, it’s not something that our partner can quickly adapt.   Sometimes, instead of trying to help, we even tend to give them reasons to feel more helpless and devastated about their situation.

So instead of pushing our significant others to fight the depression, it’s better to show them our support by sticking up for them. We need to let our partner know how much they mean to us and that we believe in their capability to get through all of life’s struggles. It’s important that they acknowledge our effort in making them feel better. With that said, it’s much better to provide enough reasons for them to live rather than give them options in battling the mental illness.

You may become a watcher—watching what the depressed person says, what they look like, how they acted, and what didn’t happen. You may become a detective trying to identify something that will create change and bring lightness. — Angela Avery, MA, LLPC, NCC


Danger Of Unsolicited Advice

It’s common for us to show our support to our loved ones, but there are times that we are overdoing it. Depressed people don’t want to get advice because they know what to do. Just because we think they seem to be weak and vulnerable doesn’t mean they don’t think about solutions to their situation. We make comments and suggestions but they probably already thought about these before we even offer them. Telling someone what they should and should not do, even though it’s practically useful, are not going to help them at any cost. It only adds to their stress and frustration if they can’t execute it.

Sadly, the reaction of many people is to say simplistic and dismissive things like, “Just pray more,” “Get more exercise,” or “You just need to think yourself into a better place.”  — Jenise Harmon, LISW-S

So instead of giving unsolicited advice that makes our partner feel sorry for their situation, we can at least try to ask them what they want to do. We can talk to them about new ideas that we think might help and allow them to decide if it’s something they would like to try. It’s better to let them be in control of their lives.

It’s not an easy battle for our loved ones because it can affect us and we can affect their decisions too. So if we want to see them attain the overall development we want for them, we need to provide them the only thing they need – unconditional love.

Overlooked Symptoms Of Depression That Destroy Relationships


The quality of our lives depends on the type of relationship we have with our spouse or significant others. It is our source of happiness and success that help us through the course of our overall development. However, on the negative side, it is also the cause of our pain and despair. And when our relationship is at stake, we tend to have difficulties in finding joy and fulfillment in almost everything. That’s why it’s not a surprise that relationships play a big role when it comes to our mental condition. So how do we know if our relationship is experiencing a rough ride due to depression? Here are the commonly overlooked signs that you need to know.

Depression doesn’t simply go away because you’ve loved more. — Angela Avery, MA, LLPC, NCC

Too Negative To Think About Anything

Depression encloses your thoughts with negativity that elevates your doubts and despair. It creates a massive influence on your mental capacity to stay on a one-sided perception. It blocks your emotional state and makes it difficult for you to appreciate things. You always complain about everything and feel like nothing seems to make you happy.


Sensitive And Irrational

Due to depression, you question and criticize your capability to handle a relationship. You drop a high level of energy and motivation over time and tend to become sensitive to criticism. You become doubtful about your worth that’s lowering down your self-esteem. As a result, you tend to hate your job, your friends, as well as your partner.

Persistent Sadness And Fatigue

Though it’s pretty normal to feel sad and tired at some point, the persistent feeling it gives contributes to making you lose interest in things that you used to enjoy, and that includes sex. It becomes a problem in the relationship because you tend to devalue the importance of physical intimacy due to your mental state.

 Though giving up and not functioning can be the exact opposite of what’s helpful at times, other times it can be exactly what is needed for my brain to begin to heal. — Cynthia W. Lubow, MS, MFT

Constant Changes Of Interest

It is common to experience mood changes. However, the continued emotional and physical neglect towards your partner is a different story. When you are depressed, you tend to lose interest in things that you and your partner enjoy doing together. You become needy and lack the motivation to engage in your typical relationship activities such as going out on a date, shopping together, or even completing projects at home.

Developing Unexplained Irritable Mood

When you suffer from depression, you quickly get irritated with people or circumstances that previously didn’t affect your life. It concerns your relationship because you over-think up to the extent that you tend to go below the belt in demeaning your partner. It becomes easy for you to find fault that suddenly you experience random outbursts over menial occurrences.

Difficulty In Making Decisions

Depression can affect your critical thinking. You lose the balance in creating a meaningful decision due to the stress and anxiety from your mental illness. You tend to affect your partner at some point because you no longer feel the need to communicate and keep on avoiding addressing relationship issues.


Depression is a mind/body issue and should be treated with the same self-compassion and treatment-seeking with which we would treat any major illness. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

Relationship problems widely contribute to depression and vice versa. The mental condition prevents us from having the kind of blissful life that we yearn to have with our loved one. Sometimes, it even triggers issues that are somehow too impossible to address, so we need to be cautious about the mental disorder’s signs and symptoms.