Coping Mechanisms To Help You Deal With A Loved One’s Death

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It feels so dark when a friend, significant other, child or close family member dies, doesn’t it? The experience is undoubtedly much bitter than accepting a divorce or job loss because you can no longer hear your loved one’s hearty laughter or witness them achieve their goals. There may be regret too, especially if you became estranged from the deceased and death robbed your opportunity to rekindle your relationship with that person.

These emotions can fuel negative thoughts and drive you down the depression lane in no time. Despite that, you should never allow it to happen because your dearly departed won’t be able to move on once they know you’re wasting away your life over something you cannot change.

In case you want to live again for them and yourself, try the coping mechanisms below.

  1. Understand Your Feelings

Dealing with a loved one’s death will make you feel different things throughout the grieving period. You may be in denial at first, and then start blaming yourself and others for not being able to help prolong the deceased individual’s life. The bouts of sadness and guilt may come to play as well. But instead of choosing to numb these emotions, just let them flow without doing anything about them for a while. You’ll later realize that stopping death is beyond your strengths and hopefully, get over the loss efficiently.

Creativity demands you have periods of time where you don’t think about work or problems. The more complex a situation, the more you overload your brain. — Marcia Reynolds Psy.D.

  1. Talk When You’re Ready

Now and then, it seems extra practical to try handling grief on your own. There won’t be people telling you what to feel and how the dead folks are in a better place now, at least, which you evidently know at the back of your head. Once you’ve come to terms with your new reality, you may then open up to the living about the emotional ordeal you endured.

  1. Remain Sober

Whatever you do, don’t ever use alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs. Consuming such substances can only give you temporary happiness and push the idea of moving on as far away from your mind as possible. The pain, therefore, will stay with you and encourage you to abuse these harmful elements – a decision that will ruin your life and sadden your deceased loved ones wherever they must be.

It’s important to consistently remind ourselves of the profound effect we alone have over our destiny. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

  1. Follow A Healthy Lifestyle

Depressing thoughts will freely run in your brain when you refuse to eat, exercise, bathe, get out of the bed, or even open the curtains in the house. It won’t be an insult to the dearly departed if you have healthy meals, workout, and get some work done after the funeral. The activities can, in fact, toughen your mind and body as you try to heal from their demise.

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  1. Remember The Dead Person’s Glorious Moments

On occasions when you think about the things they could’ve accomplished if only they were alive, force yourself to recall their triumphs in the past. The former will turn your mood down, yet the latter may bring a smile to your face, which most dying individuals want you to do every time you remember them.

Being strictly in the here and now would be like having advanced Alzheimers. — Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D., MPP

3 Life Lessons To Remember Today

There is no easy way to live and enjoy life. Whether you like it or not, there will always be struggles and challenges that will come your way. What is essential is to learn how you can become the most fantastic version of yourself, no matter how complicated life gets. Make sure that you know how to live life to the fullest. Sometimes, all you have to do is to remind yourself of the life lessons from the most successful individuals.

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In this article, we are going to share some insights with you. Be sure that you familiarize them so that you can start to live a worry-free life.

We conform to the notions and ideals of our society, our family and other influences that can drown out our own point of view. We spend our lives repeating patterns and filling prescriptions from our past that don’t serve us in the present. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

Lesson No. 1: Let The Past Go

If there is one thing that you must train yourself to do, it is to learn how to let go of the past. You must stop dwelling for all the things that happened in your past because they are already absolute. It means that there is nothing that you can do to change them. What is essential at this point is you learn the value of appreciating the present and preparing for the future. Remind yourself that the activities and things you do in the present can affect your future in so many ways. Do not let anyone or anything in the past prevent you from achieving your full potential.

Good negotiators prepare before their meetings. They know what they are willing to give up and what their bottom line is where the negotiations stop. — Marcia Reynolds Psy.D.

Lesson No. 2: Follow Your Dreams

Another thing that you must always instill in your mind is to prevent others from dictating your life. No one should tell you what to do, where to go, or when to do a particular action. Be smart enough to be assertive in following your dreams. Listen to the true desires of your heart. Promise yourself that you will always do whatever it takes to go after your dreams. You have to believe that you can become a successful individual as long as you are passionate about what you do. Take note that it is essential to keep on doing what you love because it is the secret to happiness. Otherwise, you will only end up having sleepless nights because of your endless questions about what-ifs.

I appreciate that sometimes I don’t appreciate my attention allocation. I’m happy to have mixed feelings about where I focus, because that’s how I refine my focus. — Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D., MPP

Lesson No. 3: Work Hard All The Time

You must also keep in mind that success does not come easy. You have to work harder for the things that you want. You cannot continue to get the best out this world without working hard for it. Remember that nothing worth having will come easy. Do not think that just because you are always thinking positive, everything will just magically appear in your life. The truth is that you must also exert effort into achieving what you truly desire. You have to stop finding a reason for procrastinating. Instead, focus on giving all your best in everything that you does. You will be surprised at how it can improve your life for the better. Prepare a life that is full of abundance and greatness once you understand the true meaning of the third lesson.

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Always remind yourself of these lessons every single day.

How To Make Jealousy Work To Your Advantage

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Raise your hand if you’ve spent any time in the past month dreaming about a different life. — Amie M. Gordon, Ph.D.

Parents, schoolteachers, and other grownups usually tell youngsters how to behave. “Ask before taking anything,” “stand up for yourself,” and “be polite” are some of the things that children hear from them. There are plenty of don’t’s as well, such as staying angry, not sharing your blessing, and being jealous.

Most of them make perfect sense, of course. The adults want to prevent kids from doing poor things; that’s why the ethics lessons are always there. However, there are still emotions that seem wrong at first, yet they may be advantageous as long as you have them in tiny doses.

Take jealousy, for example. Learn how it can work for you down below.

  1. You Become A Curious Person

Curiosity, contrary to popular belief, does not kill anything. It can motivate you to find out how someone else achieved a dream that’s very similar to yours. In case you can’t reach them in person, you read articles or see videos of them online and try to understand the difference between your methods toward success.

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Schedule a five minute “priority-setting” session for yourself every day, even non-workdays. — Marcia Reynolds Psy.D.

  1. It Makes Your Goals Clear

When you are jealous, it means you wish to have what others have. That feeling can be beneficial for you because you immediately have an idea about the things you want in life. The single time it won’t work out for you is once you try to take away their source of happiness instead of seeking your own.

  1. Competition Can Inspire You To Do Better

It is effortless to sulk and stay mad at people for outgunning you in areas of academics, business, or love. You can make faces all day long behind their back, yet that won’t still push you to the top. A better way is to see their achievements as the new standard so that everything you’ll do from that moment on may allow you to beat them.

  1. You Can Turn Rivals Into Colleagues

Do you remember how the antagonists in the movies often say, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”? Protagonists in real life can believe in that too without being mean. After all, any industry is big enough for multiple players. The more connections you have within the same field, the higher your chances will be of succeeding.

To varying degrees, we fail to differentiate ourselves, to separate from limiting outside influences and realize our unique value in the world around us. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

  1. It Lets You Revisit Your Strategies

Becoming jealous of another individual’s accomplishments should be a wake-up call to you that something in your plan isn’t right. For a student, perhaps you’re focusing more on playing video games or dating; thus, a classmate got better grades than you. For a career man or woman, maybe you need to come up with more ideas to show the bosses and clients that you’re worthy of their trust.

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  1. You’ll Be Able To Learn From Success Stories

You may transform jealousy into appreciation. Those smart folks indeed went out of their way to get what they want; that’s why they deserve to reap the benefits of their hard work. Once you finally accept that they did a great job, you can then concentrate on making a similar thing happen in your life.

Mental Health 101: Be Happier

If there is one thing that you must prioritize in life at the moment, it is to see to it that you are happy wherever you go and whatever you do. Make sure that you have improved mental health at all times. Keep in mind that failure to make all these things happen can have adverse effects in your life. Take note that many people nowadays are suffering from depression and panic disorders because they have neglected their mental wellness. Because of this, there is a need for you to take care of yourself before it is too late.

The idea that just because we want something means that we can have it is a throwback to the typical mindset of a 2-year-old who is just testing out the boundaries of her power. — Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.

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In this article, we are going to share some of the practical techniques that you can use to help you stay on the right track to living a life that is full of happiness. Before anything else, you have to believe that you can do whatever you set your mind do. You have a powerful mind that can transform thoughts into action. As such, you must learn how to program your mind to accomplish happiness all the time. Here are the other tips to remember:

Build Strong Relationships

 

One of the aspects of your life that you must focus on is your relationship with other people. As much as possible, you must find time to establish long-lasting friendships with the right individuals. Do not be afraid to cut ties to those who do not add any value to your day or overall wellness. At the same time, be sure to establish meaningful connections with your family members. The more you spend time with the best people in your life, the happier you will become.

The cognitive distortions can subsequently result in the individual experiencing undue anxiety, depression, and negative self-feelings. — Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D.

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Avoid Stressing Yourself Out

Be sure to determine the stressors in your life and keep them away from you. Do not wait before they consume your happy or positive vibes. Keep in mind that the more you keep yourself around these stressors, the higher the possibility there is for you to suffer depression. For example, if your work becomes too hard to handle, do not be afraid to quit. Sometimes, you have to learn how to move away from those that will only make your life a living hell. Avoid anything that can add a burden to your days.

Being mindful of our eating, drinking, and sleeping habits, physical activity levels, social activities, online activities, and regular engagement in other self-care practices will contribute to your resiliency in the face of stress. Taking a slow, deep breath may help as well. — Marni Amsellem, PhD

Be Grateful Always

Another thing that you must master is the art of being grateful at all times. Look for all the blessings that you have received in your life. Be sure to recognize all of them. Do not just sit in the corner and keep on complaining about what is going on in your life. The right thing to do is to take a break and reminisce. Look back to how your life has been amazing for the past few years. Learn how to say thank you to the right circumstances and people in your life. Having gratitude in your day-to-day life can contribute a lot in improving your mental health.

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What are you waiting for? Give yourself a chance to experience genuine happiness by following the items mentioned in this post.

How To Not Be On The Receiving End Of Bullying At Work

 

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Despite the comparisons going around for decades, there’s still no such thing as an “easy” job. Every position in any industry can be tricky, mainly if the tasks assigned to you come by a dozen. You’ll have little time for relaxation, and sometimes you may even forget to eat.

Another struggle that you might face, however, is the prospect of being on the receiving end of bullying at work. Whether you do your job amazingly or poorly, there will always be mischievous people who’ll try to bring your morals down. Luckily, there are some things you can do to avoid giving them the last laugh.

Try making decisions about what you will and will not do before you have a conversation with your boss, friends or partner. — Marcia Reynolds Psy.D.

  1. Prepare Yourself

Before you enter the office, you should be aware of the remarks that others may throw your way about your appearance. You ideally went to school and have been around different kinds of people for many years, so you know what features may earn you praises or criticisms.

It’s important to remind yourself of such things so that you won’t get taken aback once you hear them being said to you. You’re not putting yourself down when you do so – you’re merely preparing yourself for future occurrences.

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  1. Know The Signs

Bullying is diverse when it comes from a man or a woman, to be honest. When the former does it, he may yell or intimidate you consistently even if you’re doing a better job than him. In case the latter is the bully, she may talk behind your back or set you up for failure with a friendly smile plastered on her face.

Overall, you should remain alert for these signs because the abuse can take place in an instant.

You will start to have mean thoughts or “critical inner voices” that tell you you’re inferior or that you are insignificant and only take up space. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

  1. Hold Your Tongue

You also have to remember not to spill the beans about your life to everyone in the office immediately, thinking that they’re all your BFFs already. Some of them may want the same position you got, while others can be plain jealous of your stature, albeit it may not show in the beginning. Telling them your secrets, therefore, is like loading the gun they’ll shoot you with on your own.

  1. Maintain Your Confidence

If there’s something that bullies are allergic to, it’s the unwavering self-esteem that their target displays. You can’t express even a hint of weakness in front of the bullying crowd since an oppressor typically draws out happiness from the suffering of the prey. But once you prove to them that you pay no mind to their trash talks or dishonorable behavior, they may eventually stop.

  1. Control The Situation Fast

Considering you understand the indications of the abuse by now, then you know whether a person just teases you or has a dark ulterior motive.

You can laugh with everyone in case you see that they don’t mean harm. However, if the snide remarks come more often than not, then you have to take a stand and confront the individual immediately. It won’t hurt as well to inform the folks at the human resources department about it.

The cost of conflict in the workplace can be very high. While conflict cannot be avoided, the approach to its solution makes all the difference. — Aldo Civico Ph.D.

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Bullying will never be acceptable. For sure, it’s painful to be on the receiving end of it, especially when you’re at your workplace, which is supposedly a safe environment. But don’t be afraid to call for help if it gets out of hand. After all, there’ll be no more bullying once you stop letting it happen to you.

Tips To Become Emotionally Stable

No matter what the reason, not getting what we want can be a negative experience. — Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D.

Being emotionally stable is not an easy thing to do, especially if you encounter different experiences that can trigger your feelings easily. Unfortunately, some individuals in your life can irritate or irk you even if they have not done anything. At the same time, there are also those to be indifferent to you despite showing them your best side. Aside from this, some things in life can instantly make you feel unhappy or uncomfortable.

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Because of all this, there is a high chance that you become emotionally unstable. Keep in mind that this is a negative trait that you must deal with immediately. As much as possible, make an effort to be emotionally stable wherever you go and whatever you do. It is essential or vital for you to begin thinking of how others may feel because of your attitude. Do not do something that can prevent you from becoming a loving individual. In this article, we are going to provide you with some tips that can help you with how to accomplish emotional stability:

Keep your dignity and behave like the adult you are. It may be impossible to control the pain you first feel, but you can always control your actions. — Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.

Think Twice Before Reacting

One of the things that you must master at this point is to think twice before you react to something. Do not do something or say anything without thinking twice. You must process what you feel before you start to express it to others. However, this does not necessarily mean that you have to conceal your true feelings. What is crucial at this point is to learn how to think right so that you will not end up doing or saying something you will regret.

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Meditate Regularly

Another activity that you may want to consider is to meditate regularly. Make sure that you give your self sufficient time to connect with your soul. It is significant for you to find peace within yourself. It is only then can you become emotionally stable. Fortunately, there are now several ways on how you can good at meditation. You can attend a meditation class or even enroll in your local gym. At the same time, you can also do it yourself at the backyard of your residence.

Find Time To Grow

When things to do not happen the way you want them to be, be sure to avoid feeling upset for an extended period. Give yourself a time to accept the setback that you have experienced but make sure that you do not stay in that rut for a long time. Instead, treat every mistake or error as an opportunity to grow. Stop blaming yourself for all the unhappy and wrong things that are happening around you. Do not take everything too personally so that you can continue to think logically. Find time to grow for you to feel the different benefits and advantages of living life to the fullest.

 Stressful situations can quickly drain your resources. One way to feel replenished is to get in touch with your creative side. — Marni Amsellem, PhD

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Be emotionally stable with all the tips and tricks that we mentioned above. Remember that you can do anything that you want!

The Top Mistakes To Avoid When Dealing With Unrequited Love

 

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Say, you confess your love to an old friend or an acquaintance. He or she, however, awkwardly informs you that the feeling isn’t mutual. Now, what will you do?

Being in the center of that situation can bring out a lot of emotions, which are undoubtedly damaging at most. It’s already embarrassing to hear the rejection when it’s only the two of you in the same room. But in case you turned the confession into too huge of a deal and did it in front of the people you both know, then your world may just shatter into a billion pieces.

Despite the hurt that unrequited love comes with, however, you should be thankful that the man or woman of your affection was honest with you. Although getting rejected is hard, nothing can still beat getting cheated on or abandoned.

The road to recovery is rough, not just because we are struggling with the real loss of a person or a way of life we really loved, but because every painful rejection is fueled by two forces: the actuality of the loss itself and the army of negative, self-loathing thoughts reawakens within us. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

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So, try your mightiest to avoid these top mistakes when dealing with unrequited love.

  1. Claiming That You’re OK Repeatedly

You can tell stories as much as you like about how well you are after the failed confession, yet even the stray bird that possible saw the event unfold knows that you are far from being OK. Be honest about it, and don’t be afraid to cry if that will lighten up your mood.

  1. Staying Close To The Person Who Denied Your Feelings

The regular statement of someone who just rejected another human being is: “I hope we can still be friends.” For sure, it may happen, but you need to get away from him or her first so that the healing process can begin.

  1. Listening To Sad Love Songs

While it is quite addictive to play tunes about unrequited love, some of the lyrics may only let your mind wander toward the pain and the what-ifs. Your emotions may subside faster once you listen to upbeat songs instead.

Source: vixendaily.com

We don’t always win the heart of the person we pursue and we don’t always get the job we want, either. Not everyone is going to be chosen for the team and not every social situation is going to turn out the way we would like. — Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.

  1. Obsessing About The One-Sided Love

Talking about your broken heart is acceptable if the ordeal is still fresh. Considering a year already passed, and you’re continuously posting or tweeting regarding that experience on social media, then that’s an obsession you have to quit immediately.

  1. Being Angry At The Person Who Rejected You

Regardless of how terrible the dismissal is for you, you can’t get mad at that guy or lady who did it, especially if they said the words in a respectful manner. It isn’t their fault that you like them or they don’t like you. You’re just not meant to be, that’s all.

  1. Having No Other Plans

Another mistake that an individual blinded by love can commit is going in the battle with a single plan. Once that occurs, you may catch yourself doing the most absurd stuff, such as partying till you drop and going down with depression. That’s why it’s significant to have a strategy in motion in case you end up with unrequited love.

  1. Continuing To Worship That Boy/Girl

The scenario wherein a person dismisses someone’s feelings and then turns around to take it back only happens in movies. In reality, a no means a no. Hence, you should focus on moving on and stop waiting for him or her to love you.

Regularly finding healthy outlets for yourself is key to successfully navigating daily challenges and maintaining emotional health. — Marni Amsellem, PhD

How To Get Better In Handling Stress

There are many things that you have to keep in mind when it comes to handling stress. First of all, you must understand that managing stress can be challenging in the beginning. However, once you become a master of how to handle your emotions, everything will become a lot easier on your part. Make sure that you know how to do things the right way so that you can become a better person, despite the stress that you are feeling inside.

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For today’s post, we are going to provide you with some strategies that can help you become better in handling stress. Be sure to familiarize the items listed below:

This might seem counterintuitive, but acceptance and commitment therapy suggests that efforts to stop certain thoughts can have a paradoxical effect. — Kathryn Gordon Ph.D.

Love Yourself

One of the things that you must learn is to love yourself. Learn how to accept your flaws and mistakes. It is only then that you can have the right state of mind to handle stress. Whether you believe it or not, the truth is that you can control everything with the way you think. Because of this, it is best if you will start to fall in love with everything about yourself. The more you admire yourself, the easier it would be on your part to keep going with life.

Be With Friends And Family

Are you aware that one of the reasons why you are constantly stressed is because you started missing out on special events with friends and family? As such, it is time for you to go out of your way to see the people who truly matter in your life. Make time to bond with these individuals because they are the ones who can make you smile. The more moments you share with them, the better you become when it comes to eliminating your stressors.

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I think we can all benefit from looking at things in such a way. Who is to say if something is “good” or “bad?” — Ingrid Clayton Ph.D.

Rest And Take A Break

How many hours do you spend a day at work or in your business? Are these hours productive for you, or are they making you stressed out? If you answer the latter choice, then it is about time for you to consider resting. Do not be afraid to take a break for a while because it is what you need to improve your life. Keep in mind that you will eventually get burnt out if you spend a lot of time doing tasks and assignments. Find time to get rest and have fun.

Exercise Regularly

Another thing that you must never neglect is the importance of getting sufficient exercise regularly. As much as possible, find time to do some physical activities. Take note that the human body produces dopamine or happy hormones when you exercise. As a result, you will be in a better mood. At the same time, your mental health will also improve. If this continues to occur or happen for a long period, there is a possibility that you can eliminate stress without you knowing it.

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 The key to effective problem solving is to describe a problem in a way that allows you to use your knowledge to solve it. — Art Markman Ph.D.

Follow the techniques mentioned above so that you can let go of your stress and anxiety. Be the best and most amazing version of yourself at all times.

Reasons To Become A Roving Nail ‘Therapist’

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The best way to minimize the risks is to ensure that you know the value that you are bringing to the table and then that you confidently sell this value any chance you get. — Laura E. Buffardi Ph.D.

Being a nail technician seems like an easy job for some people. You get trained to beautify your clients’ nails and sit in an air-conditioned salon every day, after all. You can even make an excellent living out of the tips that customers graciously provide. However, doing people’s nails also entails that you will inevitably turn into their makeshift therapist. A few clients may feel so at ease in your presence, to the extent that they even ask for life advice from you.

Of course, when such things happen, you go with the flow. It is rude to ask customers to shut up because they are technically always right. You do not want to get to their wrong side as well since it means throwing away one of your clients.

Now, in case the typical workday no longer appeals to you, perhaps you should try making your salon mobile.

3 Reasons To Make Your Nail Salon Mobile

You can only find a member of the female population once in a blue moon who has never had her nails done by a professional. Young mothers now turn a manicure and pedicure session into a bonding moment for them and their daughters. They try to set up an appointment at least once a month to make sure that their nails always look fabulous.

Hana does her nails on the train, because every moment counts on her way to improve her family’s fortunes, with her brightly colored nails. — Talya Miron-Shatz Ph.D.

The thing is, you may also discover that more women who are busy taking care of their careers or kids have lesser opportunity to visit the salon for a bit of self-pampering. It is not that they do not want to do that. It is just that there is too much on their plate and going out to allocate at least an hour for their nails sounds impossible for them.

For this reason, there are nail professionals who are starting to put up their mobile nail salon. Here are the top three reasons why you should open one as well.

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1. Always Be On The Go

When you have to relocate your establishment, it cannot be guaranteed that your regular customers in the previous location will want to travel to your new place. This is merely impractical to them, especially if there are other nail salons that they can go to nearby. Aside from that, it is no secret that some individuals are always interested in trying new services, regardless if they have been coming to your salon for months.

Nevertheless, if moving to another place means that you have to go back to square 1, you can choose to make your home your headquarters. You can send invitations to your old clients to swing by your house to get their usual manicure and pedicure. You may also turn into an on-call nail technician for customers who don’t have time for that.

2. Garner More Patrons

Take note of the saying that “birds of the same feathers often flock together.” Your customers who ask for home service have friends who like the same thing. You can give your calling card to them so that they can show it to their gal pals anytime they meet. In case you want to ante up the stakes, you can offer a package deal when the ladies decide to hold a nail salon party.

The benefit of doing so is that you will undoubtedly gain more regular clients. The flow of customers may not be as crazy as when you were still working at a typical nail salon. However, as a roving nail ‘therapist,’ you can ensure that the individuals who will get your services are keepers.

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Being a leader is being willing to forge a path and hold that space and identifying who would like to follow that path with you. It takes personal integrity, being clear on your values and goals, and serving as a beacon for others. — Mira Brancu, Ph.D.

3. Obtain Profits In Full

The most significant aspect of having a mobile salon is that you are your boss and employee. You do not have to answer to anyone but yourself. If you wish to have a late start, no one will nag you. In case you feel too lazy to go to work today, that is not a problem either.

Consequently, if you work for a company, you may get a percentage for every pair of hands or feet that you beautify, or there is a fixed daily wage. Either way will provide low income, which is highly unsatisfactory if you have been in the salon for eight hours straight.

The latter consists of some of the reasons why nail technicians have started to make their services available in a mobile fashion. Even though you may not be affiliated to a huge salon such as in the past, you can take all of your profits – plus the tip – without needing to turn it over to the employer.

Accept the beautiful changes that life offers to you, and everything will be so much better. Become a roving nail technician today!

Managing Depression After A Breakup

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Effects Of A Breakup

Breaking up with someone you love can be very challenging to go through in life. It could turn your world upside down while you feel unfortunate, helpless, and hopeless. People deal with breakups differently, according to psychologists. Some would just accept the fact and move on, but others develop depression.

It may seem like your world is falling apart and that you might not be able to move past this hurt. Your emotions are heightened, and you will not be able to feel okay for a while. These are typical symptoms of a breakup, but you have to recognize some signs that might tell you that you have depression.

Continue reading “Managing Depression After A Breakup”